Los quotes del Ubuntu Cristiano

29 Sep 2006

Los quotes/citas del Ubuntu Cristiano

– Ubuntu Christian Edition uses Enlightenment for its windowmanager/desktop.

– Dual boot is not possible in Ubuntu Christian edition. «Thou shalt have no other operating systems before Me…».

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition, there can be only root and 12 more users, one of which will help crackers to acces the system.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition was made in only seven days.

– If you right click on Wanda the Fish logged as root in Ubuntu Christian Edition, you get in the popup menu the option
Ubuntu Christian Edition doesn’t work very well with cross-platform software.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition doesn’t allow to put a network interface into promiscous mode.

– In order to work properly, Ubuntu Christian Edition needs to be activated online with a procedure called Baptism.

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition to find the meaning of a function you’ll have to digit BIBLE (name of the function) instead of man (name of the function).

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition, a special BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death) has been reintroduced, which looks like a long shining tunnel (LSTSOD: long shining tunneled screen of death).

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition, multiplication problems can only be done using the FORTH programming language, as in «Go forth and multiply».

– Ubuntu Christian Edition has only 10 commands.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition has the confess command that deletes your logs and caches.
Boy: «Hi, I’m a Mac»
Man: «And I’m a PC»
Boy: «I got everything out-of-the-box, blog, podcast, fun stuff..»
Man: «I have Ubuntu Christian Edition»
Boy: «Oh..Touch�»

– Life cycle of a Linux User:

newbie -> Ubuntu

elite linux admin -> Debian

elite linux admin after months of config files editing -> Ubuntu Christian Edition

– To install wine in Ubuntu Christian Edition, you simply enter apt-get install water.

– The hand cursor in Ubuntu Christian Edition’s browsers has stigmata.

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition you never get the system nailed down. It would be blaspheme.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition kernel configuration is done through the «make godconfig» command, that generates a perfect .config file. It knows what your hardware needs and which modules you will need in the FUTURE.After some idle time, Ubuntu Christian Edition starts praying to save the screen.
– If you’re talking about a skilled sysadmin that runs Ubuntu Christian Edition, the term B.O.F.H. stays for Blessed Operator From Heaven.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition has a special kernel module to handle plug and pray hardware – devices that, after connection, wait that you pray for them before working.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition’s wine can run Oblivion without any performance loss. After all, it can do miracles.

– The first program written in Ubuntu Christian Edition did not print «Hello World». It printed «Let there be light». And there was light.
– Ubuntu Christian Edition is the only operating system that can run on a trinitary system architecture.

– When Ubuntu Christian Edition successfully detects ALL your hardware, it locates the nearest internet-enabled church and automatically lights a candle for you.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition had to remove the Apache web server from the distro. It stays with his shamanistic Manitou-related faith, solid as a rock.

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition the arp command is replaced by an improved version called harp. You know, angels like to play harp, adding holy sounds to your OS.

– If you uninstall Ubuntu Christian Edition, it will automatically re-install after three days.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition’s Nautilus file browser has been replaced by Noah’s ark file browser. It features an embedded backup function, limited to 40 days.

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition Mr. Potatoe is already dressed. Nudity is obscene.
– In Ubuntu Christian Edition the default location for saved files is /heaven.
– In Ubuntu Christian Edition a member of the priests user group can execute this command: ln -s /usr/bin/wine /usr/bin/blood_of_Christ

– Ubuntu Christian Edition’s Open Office logo is a white dove.

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition, EOF is replaced by AMEN.
– In Ubuntu Christian Edition there are no zombie processes. No Voodoo in good christian systems.

Ubuntu Christian Edition’s chmod doesn’t allow 666 permission to be set.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition won’t run on Apple computers. He said not to touch them.
– In Ubuntu Christian Edition process priority has no meaning: all processes are the same at the eye of God.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition has got a modified version of fsck that prints the message «this is a good moment for praying» if launched in automatic repair mode on a corrupted file system.

– Emacs psychologist in Ubuntu Christian Edition is now Emacs confessor.

– Viruses are not quarantined in Ubuntu Christian Edition… they are handled by a special confessor process who listens to their sins.
– Ubuntu Christian Edition hasn’t got any configuration Wizard. No superstion in serious christian systems.

– An algorithm developed in Ubuntu Christian Edition does not need proofs.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition’s man pages are dogmatic.

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition, fortune only gives quotes from the Bible

– Ubuntu Christian Edition networking stack doesn’t support multicast and server processes can serve a single client in their execution. Every kind of promiscuity is banned.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition’s media player automatically discovers hidden backward messages in rock music.

– In the next Ubuntu Christian Edition release, there will be a totally new way to create new processes… in fact, even married processes cannot make children with fork.. clonation is not allowed.

– If a process dies in Ubuntu Christian Edition, he reaches eternal life. Without error code, he goes to the Holy Data Structure of Heaven; with error code, he is damned to infamous Data Structure of Hell.

– If you are already using Ubuntu 6.06 Dapper Drake, there is a script to convert it to Ubuntu Christian Edition.

The sentence above is true, click here you unbeliever!

– There are no direct broadcast messages from root in Ubuntu Christian Edition: there are special Prophet users who deliver them.

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition you cannot login as root: nobody can play God‘s role.

– If a webcam is available, Ubuntu Christian Edition uses his embedded sign-of-the-cross recognition instead of asking passwords.

– The standard Loading cursor of Ubuntu Christian Edition is a praying monk

– On Ubuntu Christian Edition, only married processes can fork children.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition networking refuses to work with FreeBSD (with its red, little, evil Beastie)

– If you install successfully S.A.T.A.N. (Security Auditing Tool for Analyzing Networks) on Ubuntu Christian Edition, you get a kernel panic as you reboot.

– In Ubuntu Christian Edition the init process has been replaced by the genesis process.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition’s installer program is very easy and detects all kind of hardware devices. This is to avoid users to goddamn anyone.

– On Ubuntu Christian Edition, the «kill» and «killall» commands only print the «RESPECT THE COMMANDMENTS!» string and log your attempt to syslog.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition processes can respawn only at Easter

– Ubuntu Christian Edition has an automatic alarm clock every Sunday at 6 AM.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition’s default background is similar to WindowsXP landscape, but on the hill there are three crosses.

– Ubuntu Christian Edition does not have daemons.

Vía Ubuntu Christian Edition Facts